Ready, set, breathe...

[Phedra]

I may ruffle some feathers here as my life has just turned completely upside down. My boyfriend just left me, though he is not the father of my daughter I am back to being a single mom. There was no notice, hardly an explanation he just came back from work and said I can't keep doing this.

We bought Tanner together for the single reason that I wanted to have another family member to keep me company while he is away for 6 weeks at a time and back for 4. I thought it would be nice to have a dog around for all of our camping trips we talked about and for my daughter to play with and he enjoyed the idea of having a companion while he is home and waiting for me to get off work.

He and I had talked about me taking 2 extra days off this summer so we could have more time to spend together when he is back home and I did that. Now he has left me and I am basically left wondering how I am going to make it through the summer months.

My daughter does not hardly play with the puppy because he is too big and rough (which we are still working on) and she is very timid around Tanner.

I am emotionally a wreck and considering sending the dog back to the foster home in Idaho where I got him. Now pick your jaws up off the floor and please don't chew me a new ass hole because I am thinking this. I am going out on a limb here to ask for some advice on what you think I should do.

[christySYK]

Okay.
1st off, sorry...this is a prime example of why I am old bitter and single. haha.

As much as people get mad when people get puppies and then have to get rid of them, my personal opinion is-

It is better for the dog to go to a home where he will really be loved and played with and given as much attention as he deserves, than to stay with someone who feels obligated to the dog and will view him more as a burden of responsibility than as a valued member of the household.

I am not saying that you are just trying to pawn him off because you don't want him anymore, but if you honestly don't think that you can give him what he really should have, and he is still a puppy he needs a lot of attention, I think you would be best finding a home that can really put all the emotional and physical work into him.

thats my soap box speach :)

[kumhomomma]

first off F*&k men like him...second off do what u gotta do BUT I GOT A PLAN HEaR ME OUT...give me the winning lotto numbers I will split the winning me 80% you 20% (LMAO)and we can run off to somewhere buy a few houses and run a rescue for dogs I'll front that bill since I took most the Loot..LMAO I HOPE I AT LEAST made you smile.I hope it all works out

[Phedra]

Yes you did and thank you. Haha that was what I planned on doing if I won the lottery, so if I win I will do the same 80-20 lmao.

[RoXy]

I have been where you are kinda. My ex husband was an arshole and very violent. I left him when I was 21 and I had two kids with him. I had never had a job, cellphone or even a car. He controled everything. I took my kids and my two dogs and I did it all alone for 7 years. I truely believe you can do anything you want. I was not going to lose my dogs so i just tuffed it out. I made it! My dogs got to live out there last days with me. They were both very old rescue dogs. I believe a tuff life only makes us stronger.

But coming from what I did I also know you get what you give. So honestly if you need anything please PM me.

[Leon]

I am really sorry for what happened.

This is decision time, and you have to keep an open mind and look at all the possibilities. If you truly cannot take care of your dog, do the right thing and find a good home for him.
But at the same time, you need to give it time before you decide. Right now your in your worse shape mentally, you might be confused, scared, and lonely. But don't let your feelings control you and make rash decisions.
I would keep your dog for now and get adjusted to all the changes, and if its still really hard to take care of him, i would consider giving him up.
Please don't give him away to a shelter, i would recommend you find a good home for him personally.

[Phedra]

Yes I do think I need to just take some time and sort everything out. When I adopted him I signed a contract saying that if anything happened I would send him back to the shelter and he would be placed in a foster home. I will see how things go for the next month or two and try not make any big decisions I may regret later.

Thanks all.

[FloorCandy]

I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. I'd like to think that as your child gets older, she will play with the dog more, and you might enjoy having a companion, someone to count on, that won't pick up and leave for no reason. But if it isn't right for you, then you should rehome the dog, but please remember, the longer you take to decide, the harder it will be to place the pup as it grows. I'm not saying to decide today, a few days won't hurt, but if you feel very sure you can't keep him, you should give him the best chance possible to find a new home.

I know it seems rough now, but it's better you find out now what a loser he was, than further down the road. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

[infinity]

Here is my stance on it. 1 you have to do whats best for the dog. But don't ever give up he wouldn't if it ever came down to having to protect you he would lay his life down for you. The feelings you have over some one leaving you for no reason is the same feelings he will have. I applaud you for taking him in. But when the proverbial shit hits the fan you have to bear down and do every thing you can. If all that fails then you might have to let go. Now all this only applies if you truly love the dog. I think you will do the right thing no matter what decision you have to make.

[belindabone]

hon,you need to do what is best for you and your daughter.if you arent going to have time left for the puppy then it probably be better for him to be with a family that could give him the attention you wont be able to give him.this is nothing that you have or had control over,so dont keep kicking yourself.itll get better,keep your chin up,and ill keep you and your daughter in my prayers.

[APBTMOMMY]

Here is what I think about the situtation. If you really and truely love your dog then you will figure out a way to make it work. The only thing is that you will now have a different life style. Thats just a woman thing, when you know you want it bad enough you figure out a way to make it work. As far as the man situtation ...forget about it. He wasnt there to start with so why is it going to be different now? Money ? Well maybe money may become tighter but dont forget it is still possible to have a job, live life, and still have time for your dog... Now on the other hand if you just down right dont belive that you have it in you to do it, then do as others have said and remember to try to place the dog into a good home while he still has a chance. However I have faith in you that if you want it bad enough you will figure out a way to make it work...you will just have to change your life style a bit.

[Phedra]

So I thought I would let everyone know, now that I am a little more stable, I will be keeping Tanner. I put quite a lot of thought into it the past couple weeks and I think I was quite overwhelmed with all the bs that was dropped on me. I don't think I could let Tanner go to a random house and feel good about it. Thank you all for the advice and for not chewing me out for considering giving him up.

[APBT_MOMMA]

Awwww, I didn't ever see this thread when you first wrote it but I read over it and man I am glad you made the decision to keep Tanner. He looks like a great boy and I am sure he will be there with you till the end. I also would have totally understood if you did have to give him up though but I am so proud of you for being a fighter. Grrrrr, the shit men put us through sometimes.

[APBTMOMMY]

Chewing out is not something we are here for...we are here for each others support and helping each other learn the most that we can for the care and love for our furry friends ;) Glad to hear that you are able to hold on to your friend...good luck with everything ;)

[infinity]

Yup glad to hear that your going to keep em!

[belindabone]

im glad that you chose to keep him.DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN ANYWAY!!LOL

[Phedra]

im glad that you chose to keep him.DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN ANYWAY!!LOL

Agreed. ;)

PS love the sig.

[sw_df27]

Well glad you descided to keep em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pupkisses:

[Lala]

I'm so sorry. I hope things get better for you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. And you have your daughter, so at least your not all alone. As far as Tanner goes, that is completly up to you. Mabey it would be best for him if you give him to a loving family, he is such a pretty dog and i'm sure he will be adopted quickly.